Living for YOUR Glory – You'd Lead Me Thru

Once again, how shld i start…that’s a good question. Just how do i start. How do i start with this post..How do i start getting down to start it.

It been a while…Been reading Wide Awake – Erwin Mcmanus, guess it was an apt book..

“Your dream are not simply a source of inspiration but the stewardship of your life.”

“To live a life that take your breathe away, you have to be willing to get winded.”

Changes.Changes. I screamed at it at work today, and i wonder if i do the same in future. Oh well. One step at a time Esther.

Yet changes in Life, The sense of Uncertainty keeps me dependent on the Only Dependable One…

Thank You Lord, for the willingness, the desire, the wanting and consciousness of knowing You are in this with me..In my Preparation. No Time is Wasted Time. No occurrence is of waste too.

A Quarter of the year has almost past.
I see the next few months to be Bright and Exciting, the plans He has for me, the Desire He worked in Me, The Every Step that He Takes with me still on His feet, He’s Leading still.

Preparation, still that the word for me this season, and it will NEVER end in this life but i am glad that Every Preparation i have is in His Finished Work.

Congrats to myself, i finally signed up for guitar lesson impromptu-ly..i am excited at how is going turn out!

Thank You Lord, there’s alot things that i dont know of…that Lord, in Every Opportunity, i enjoy You more than anything, i enjoy the Thrill of Exploring with You..and that includes not ALL areas of my life, and i mean ALL..and You know what i mean, Help Me Lord, not take my Feet off from Yours

Write On My Heart, Jesus. That i wont find that is a drag and forgotten and fail to recognize that is The Favor You have poured out. You Know i cannot Faced it without You.

Streaming: Before th Morning – Josh Wilson

Waiting for food at JB roadside stall…watching the people who stream by, a self thought came to mind: would life be simpler n easier if I were staying here..

Almost immediately another word flash across my mind: despondency.

Not realising the call/plans I’ve for you has causes such thoughts. Or prob gotton weary along the course of this life.

Streaming: Sound of vehicles.

Pretty Long Day it has been..And Finally had a chance to be alone at home..Always love the fact that You make me sit down to journal..

My four chords-Strumming.Music.Running Thoughts…unsure where to start, yet i enjoy such moment of Solitude.

It dawn upon me this morning, as i was walking out..
Realize i don’t need as much reliance of music to draw me into Solitude with You, as compare to last time. That to me is a Sign of Growth.

To put the interest of others before me and what’s best for them at their level and Not me using myself as a benchmark on how much they can overcome challenges or my “likings” which i assume is good for them. That to me is a Sign of Growth too..

Growth, i know and am assured that it has been happening…might be slow but surely there is, despite the fact that other tell me the opposite….

Opinions of others, the fear of being judged by even the closest of keen…am seeing that All has been crucified with Jesus on the cross. Me, is constant reminder that He Paid for it, My Redeemer He Paid for it, went a long way, just to pay for me.

I would wanna reciprocate by acknowledging and taking on His thoughts…Oneness.

Pathway of Life

Was pondering about the way my Life is today..
Realized it is really Grace Filled and Covered by His goodness. Cause every single mistake i make, Ultimately Turn Out well and it didnt matter. No matter how big the matter seem at that junction of my life, Time will just make it pass.

That kinda set me very free and not afraid to make mistake, and i know i need not be so hard on myself… =)

Streaming: Drown- Chasen

Jan 17 2010, marked a defining moment in this year of restful increase.

A moment where once again seem like our journey has parallel each other..a moment where both of us just held hands n pray with the anointing oil…it aren’t like any other time where only one of us is facing it..the robbing of our “Rest” was so real.

Yet we choose to believe for the very fact the word was released, the more the world would try steal from us.

However, as we held hands in prayer..I see us taking on a new journey and that something great and good is coming along the way..His presence was so thick between us, like a tangible covenant He cut in each of our life at that moment.

For whatever has been thrown and rob…still am thankful that He had went ahead of us..preparing our way and crown the year with suchhh Goodness…that it will turn out to be such a testimony as we look back…A privilege that cause us to take The Word seriously..to be able to identify with it and put it to test.

To be Radical in the things concerning Him…the weightiness of His presence in our lives as we walk thru Every Moments and i meant EVERY…

An eternal weight of Glory..
Was what was put on our hearts…

And I love the fact He is right there with us thru it all..

Sent from my bitten fruit mobile…

“For I will surely deliver you, and you shall not fall by the sword; but your life shall be as a prize to you, because you have put your trust in Me” – Jeremiah 39:18.

Your Life shall be a prize to you, BECAUSE you have lean it on me..That Life shall be a prize to me.

What beats, having Life itself as a prize?

If Life is a Prize to me, shouldnt i rejoice over it everyday?
And To have Life as a Prize -> (BECAUSE) i have lean myself upon You Lord.

How do i trust You, if i know not who You are to me Lord?
Redeemer, i haven known you in such a way, till recently “Redeemer” clicks with whats in my heart…
Lord, teach me Your Names, Your Ways, Your Call, Your Precepts.

As You have put it in my heart, on that quiet sunny morning with You on Proverbs 3. Yet this month round what Jumps is : “To lean not on my own understanding…But in Knowing You.”

To lean not on my own understanding..
But in Knowing You = Practically,Personally, Discerning and recognizing Your Character on How You exercise Loving Kindness, Judgment, Righteousness in All of my ways(with a loyal heart, willing mind, with the intents of my thots).

You will direct my path Lord, and as You direct, i’ll recognize:
Your ways, Your style, Your moves Lord, and have no doubt cause is You and i know is You Lord..

Teach me Lord and Spur my heart to see…that really just as You have wrote on my heart:
“There noting that matters more then just fixing and leaning my entire being on knowing you, that Your desire and Your Love is towards me.”

Streaming: Breathe Your Life – Chris and Conrad

“Be Very Sure you are flowing with ME..
But Do not be wise in your own eyes, thinking that all I have shown you is from you; It is I, Who has given you..

Continue Worshiping and Walking with me…
Counsel I’ve given you.
Wisdom I’ve Bestow to you.
Favor I’ve Imparted to you.
Be Confident in who i have make you to be…

You are not normal Esther…You are Set Apart Esther.”

The affirmation that i needed…

Proverbs 3:6-8
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct[make smooth or straight] your paths.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Worship the LORD and depart from evil.
8 It will be health to your flesh,[navel/intestine]
And strength[refreshment] to your bones.

Have i been acknowledging You in ALL my ways?
Literally ALL my ways?
What will bring forth, Health to my Body and Strength to my bones?
Worship The Lord and not be wise in my own eyes!

Once again,
In that moment of Worship and Beholding You Lord,
there an Invitation and Impartation of Your Being into My Being..

I have a confession to make…actually not a, just 3 for today!

I am
…addicted to buying comforter sheets set..
…loves to discover.write.journal.reflect.
…likes to architect stuff

Comforter..
i love my queen size bed, no doubt to me, i got to have one of the best sheets ard. Of a certain quality, certain threadcount..this are necessity to me, Cant have it too thin, cant have it too thick, thicker is better than thin..

Somehow there are days when u just wanna laze in bed, or i know there just some issues that brought to light which i dont wanna deal or dun wanna face, i’uld sleep my heart away. I wuld hide under this thick comforter,which gives me a sense of security, underneath it, is where i know i just a girl, i can shed the tears knowing it will cover and wrap me round with its warmth and put me to sleep and in there i am Safe..

Journaling..
Naturally, i am not a writer, i hate writing essays when i was younger, i cant seems to use the right words…but now I amazed at how my thots flows when i just journal, how at times when i dunno how to start, He promptings overtake and overwhelm as i type, showing me things i never thot/imagine, using words/discovering blogpost-bands-artist i didnt even know exists, or even let a side of me which i never knew exist came up, How i can try to be poetic when is actually not me. =)

To be able to put in words the pictures He paint….
To describe abt This Love that enrapture me…..
birth forth Humility, as i mediated on This loving kindness that preserve.

This is a gift, which invite and brings me on a journey to explore the glory that reflected withine me with the One who fashion it. Beautiful and always exciting..Always smt Fresh wuld comes along the way.

Architecting
Does it explain why i do what i do? I love it, i love building stuff that of use, that ease the load of humanity, that innovates that has a cutting edge..
Cant help it, both my dads are carpenters, and i know it flows in my genes..And i thot it stops there, all abt guyish stuff. But recently, i realize i enjoy craftings, smt i HAS never been able to do when i was younger..

The other day i was crafting out a birthday card, i almost cut it the other way round and make a mistake…Yet in the midst of it,

i hear myKing say: “Arent you glad I never make mistake, that i really mold and craft each part of you..and you are my pride, my master piece.”
Of course i giggled, shaking my head in unbelief at how He intrude my mistake and yet i like it “Lord even in this you can make such comment and make me laugh..”

Things are just different when I enjoyed it with my Lord..
Indeed in His presence, there is FULLNESS of JOY.

I realize in all these that i do, there seem to be just attributes that reflects who my Elohim is.
My comforter, In Him i found myself, My Creator.

Creativity / Linguistic flow is all a natural byproduct with Him, i dun need to be good at it, i dun even need to know how to trigger it to operate, All i needed was, to say YES to my heart desire, to just do what i seemingly enjoy, and seeing myKing self-invite into my every scene…and best of all, He doesnt just wait for a grand event to turn up.

I see You in every scene,
I bet You are thinking about me
I have such a short memory
So You’ll keep reminding me of You – [Scenes/Charlie Hall]

I doubt it ever be able to travel to beaches or do sports with me anymore.But well, it still is able to serve my purpose of putting an additonal slippers in office or maybe standby in the back of a car. =) Oh well i am Proud and Happy of this, and i got to admit is a God-Idea. =)